you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
