My hair reeks of homosexuality.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
