There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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