You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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