Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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