Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Watching her eat just hurts me
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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