Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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