Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize