Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize