is your mom at the bar?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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