I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize