Kiss
Puke
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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