meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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