1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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