Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize