our cab driver is having phone sex.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize