I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I have already put on my inside pants.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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