Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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