Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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