I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
