the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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