pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
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So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
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