first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
