so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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