evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Randomize