when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
