i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
