I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my shit smells like andre
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
