I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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