Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
