Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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