yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
