Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
