at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
