woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
where am i from again
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
