dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
