He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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