I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
