The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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