You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
