If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
