I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
