You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.