Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.