i think my tv is drunk
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
try lime green
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.