Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
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and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
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Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...