You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
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Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize