Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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