Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
