whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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