The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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