that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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