They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
