just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
