that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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