im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
