"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
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He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
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I won't apologize to a one balled man
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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