I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
